New Ideas in Psychology

[ Souring the Mind ] [ Assimilation ] [ Role of Narcissism ]

[ Backlash ] [ Stages of Resolution ]

It is always narcissism that dissolves the pain of life.

Narcissism has two modes, those of vanity and love. The vanity mode stimulates two major states of mind that partially dissolve sorrow.

First, the vanity mode sees life as drama – in this mode forgiveness arises, that is, forgiveness is an attribute of narcissism in vanity mode.
Secondly, the same mode is responsible for the need to dramatise my pain, to romanticise the difficulties in life that I have had to face ; this romanticising helps me to partially assimilate the pain. The stage of romanticising the sorrow may take months to fade – it is not a continuous process but occurs piecemeal. The romanticising of sorrow is just as compulsive as the phantasising on forbidden themes during the stage of catharsis.

Therefore, under the impulse of narcissism, the person first interprets life as a drama, and then inserts his own role in that drama. This predilection helps to generate forgiveness and assimilate sorrow.

Both these states of mind occur in the narcissism stage of the abreaction of pride. If the current problem features other people, then forgiveness of others is felt. Whereas, if I am dwelling on my own inadequate responses to life, then I am absorbed in romanticism and this facilitates my capability to forgive myself. Romanticism lifts me out of the dreary view of life that regular sorrow produces, and enables me to forgive myself.

Finally, bitterness is completely absorbed when narcissism switches to love mode : all pains and sorrows are dissolved in this state of mind.

Both forgiveness and acceptance occur in stages, each time going deeper into the subconscious mind. For example, the complete solution to a difficult problem may require several levels of forgiveness. First a shallow level of understanding of the problem is achieved, leading to an initial forgiveness. If then the person becomes immersed in a deeper aspect of that problem, and becomes hurt once more, so the previous forgiveness will be repudiated. The person now has to battle his way to a deeper understanding. If this is achieved then a new forgiveness is realised. If the person goes deeper still into the problem then this process (repudiating the old forgiveness and struggling to a new one) replicates itself.

Forgiveness is always conditional on an adequate grasp of the problem. When the problem becomes too difficult to handle or to master then forgiveness cannot be maintained : the old psychological hurts return.

Acceptance works in the same way.

[ E1 [ ] E2 ] [ E3 ] . [ Table of Contents ] . [ A1 ] [ A2 ] [ A3 ] [ A4 ] [ A5 ]

[ Glossary ] [ Links ] [ References 1 & 2. ] [ Appendix 1 & 2. ]

[ Profile ] [ Acknowledgements ] [ Index ] [ Home ]

Copyright © 2002 Ian Heath
All Rights Reserved

The copyright is mine, and this book is free to use. It can be reproduced anywhere, so long as the source is acknowledged.

If you want to write to me, go to the Table of Contents page
and use the address at the bottom.

www.emotion.discover-your-mind.co.uk/index.htm.

.